That's all I had told him (not in great detail, in a few words). Then I sat down near him and he began talking with Richard, about the world, yoga, the future - all kinds of things - what was going to happen (he already knew the war would break out; this was 1914, war broke out in August, and he knew it towards the end of March or early April). So the two of them talked and

talked and talked - great speculations. It didn't interest me in the least, I didn't listen. All these things belonged to the past, I had seen it all (I too had had my visions and revelations). I was simply sitting beside him on the floor (he was sitting in a chair with Richard facing him across a table, and they were talking). I was just sitting there, not listening. I don't know how long they went on, but all at once I felt a great Force come into me - a peace, a silence, something massive! It came, did this (Mother sweeps her hand across her forehead), descended and stopped here (gesture at the chest).[[Mother specified: "It encompassed the three active mental centers [the forehead, between the eyebrows, and the throat]." ]] When they finished talking, I got up and left. And then I noticed that not a thought remained - I no longer knew anything or understood anything, I was absolutely BLANK. So I gave thanks to the Lord and thanked Sri Aurobindo in my heart.

And I was very careful not to disturb it; I held it like that for I don't know how long, eight or ten days. Nothing - not one idea, not one thought, nothing - a complete BLANK. In other words, from the outside, it must have looked like total idiocy.

But I was living in my inner joy - nothing stirring. I spoke as little as possible and it was like something mechanical, it wasn't me. Then slowly, slowly, as though falling drop by drop, something was built up again. But it had no limits, it had no ... it was vast as the universe and wonderfully still and luminous. Nothing here (the head), but THERE (gesture above the head); and then everything began to be seen from there.

And it has never left me - you know, as a proof of Sri Aurobindo's power it's incomparable! I don't believe there has ever been an example of such a (how can I put it?) ... such a total success: a miracle. It has NEVER left me. I went to Japan, I did all sorts of things, had all possible kinds of adventures, even the most unpleasant, but it never left me - stillness, stillness, stillness...


page 288 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 1962 , 25th July.

Sri Aurobindo saw more clearly. He said - it was even the first thing he told the boys around him when I came in 1914 (he had only seen me once) - he told them that I, Mirra (he immediately called me by my first name), 'was born free.'

And it's true, I know it, I knew it then. In other words, all this work that usually has to be done to become free was done beforehand, long ago - quite convenient!

He saw me the next day for half an hour. I sat down - it was on the verandah of the 'Guest House', I was sitting there on the verandah. There was a table in front of him, and Richard was on the other side facing him. They began talking. Myself, I was seated at his feet, very small, with the table just in front of me

- it came to my forehead, which gave me a little protection ... I didn't say anything, I didn't think anything, try anything, want anything - I merely sat near him. When I stood up half an hour later, he had put silence in my head, that's all, without my even having asked him - perhaps even without his trying.

Oh, I had tried - for years I had tried to catch silence in my head ... I never succeeded. I could detach myself from it, but it would keep on turning ... But at that moment, all the mental constructions, all the mental, speculative structures ... none of it remained - a big hole.

And such a peaceful, such a luminous hole!

Afterwards, I kept very still so as not to disturb it. I didn't speak, above all I refrained from thinking and held it, held it tight against me - I said to myself, 'make it last, make it last, make it last ... '

Later on, I heard Sri Aurobindo saying that there were two people here to whom he had done this and as soon as there was silence, they panicked: 'My God, I've gone stupid!!' And they threw it all overboard by starting to think again.

Once it was done, it was done. It was well-rooted.

For years, from 1912 to 1914, I did endless exercises, all kinds of things, even pranayama' - if it would only shut up! Really, if it would only be quiet! ... I was able to go out (that wasn't difficult), but inside it kept turning.

This lasted about half an hour. I quietly remained there - I heard the noise of their conversation, but I wasn't listening. And then when I got up, I no longer knew anything, I no longer thought anything, I no longer had any mental construction - everything was gone, absolutely gone, blank! - as if I had just been born.

Mother's Agenda , volume - 1 , 1951-1960 , page 421-22 , September 20 .

It's that old habit, the old fear of being lazy. It took me.... But Sri Aurobindo cured me of that rather quickly. That's how it was before I met him. And that's the first thing he did: he gave me a tap on the head, and all activity ceased - total silence, all mental constructions and habits swept away ... in the blink of an eye.

I was very careful not to let it come back.

page 112 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 6th March 1962

It's very different from what it was before for so many years - very different. I feel a sort of ... Oh, it's an impression equivalent to the one I had when Sri Aurobindo gave my mind silence. It became perfectly blank and empty (gesture to the forehead), blank and empty, and there was nothing anymore: I couldn't think anymore, not one idea, not one system anymore, nothing - in a word, total imbecility! It never came back. You see, it went up above, and here there was nothing. Well, this time, it was the same thing for the body consciousness: before, it was everywhere like something holding everything together (to such a point that when there was a difficulty, I only had to stop bothering about it all and let that act, and the difficulty would automatically be sorted out by that body consciousness, which knows far better than our active thought what the body should do), and that day it left DELIBERATELY. The decision had been made the night before, but I was resisting it, as I knew the normal consequence was fainting. But "that" willed it so and "that" chose its own time (when there was no danger, when no accident could happen and someone was there to help me), "that" chose its own time and "that" did it deliberately - gone. And it has never returned.

page 170-71 , Mother's Agenda , volume 5 , 22nd Aug 1964